Would you excorciate an “Eastern Catholic” dating service that catered to helping Eastern Catholics find someone who shared their distinctive traditions?Then what’s wrong with a “Traditional Catholic” website, which reflects people who follow the pre-conciliar traditions, which are at such cultural variance from contemporary mores.And, as fascinated as you may be with questions surrounding who gets an annulment and why, there is one big question most of you want to hear more about: dating and annulments. Is it okay to date someone who doesn't have an annulment? Do you have to wait until the annulment is granted? Respecting the Church and respecting the process means respecting that fact. The murky part comes in when we start to talk about "dating." Several of you wrote to ask me if it's a sin to "date" someone who doesn't have an annulment.So let's take that question on today — Is it okay to date someone who is divorced but doesn't have an annulment? It's a hard question to answer, because the concept of "dating" isn't particularly clear.By the same token, I wouldn’t be bothered by charismatics hosting their own dating website, or Opus Dei folks, or anyone else. Further, Most “mainstream” Catholic dating sites reflect the mainstream appaling ignorance of Catholic catechetics, doctrine, and cultural traditions.The traditional Latin Mass, and the concomitant traditions it enshrines, is de facto, though not de jure, a separate rite from the Novus Ordo.Notice I said "friendship." I think this is the key. People sometimes say to me "Well yeah, we're keeping it at a level of friendship. And I know that can easily lead to a mentality of "of course he'll get his annulment, so what's the big deal? [Editor's Note: Because of the nature of annulments, we at Catholic Exchange stress the importance of contacting a canon lawyer.
I have received more mail on this topic than I have any other subject since I started writing for .Michelle, I can understand your concern, but I still think it a mistake to impute a monolithic view to all the members of a website.Just as it would be wrong to assume that everyone who reads the blog agrees with it, or that everyone who subscribes to a magazine endorses it in toto, so too would it be wrong to impute the views of a web-creator to everone who takes advantage of it. Would it be wrong for a Catholic to set up a personnel ad on a non-Catholic website? There might be some good Catholic readers on that generic website.It’s a forum for people attached to the Latin Mass, but being a “radtrad” is not a sine qua non.It’s an error to impute views of a webmaster to everyone who visits a website.I have no problem with people looking for someone from their own “rite.” And this is very practicial.There are many homes that are split by the “reform of the liturgy,” with a husband going to the New Mass, and the wife to the Old, or vice versa.Michelle, As for subgroups setting up matching websites, would you have a difficulty with a “Republican” or “Democrat” dating service?People naturally want to find similarity and complementarity in a prospective spouse.I say "presumed" because, until the investigation is over and the tribunal has ruled, no one can say that for sure. Clearly there was no marriage." Maybe there wasn't, but that's not our call to make. It's defined differently among different people at different times.The tribunal may find that no sacramental marriage ever existed. And it's difficult for the Church to be clear about something that isn't clearly defined. To engage in sexually intimate behavior with someone who is presumed to be married would be presumed to be adultery. Is going out to lunch with someone adulterous behavior? Obviously it's not the meal, or the act of sharing that meal, that's adulterous. If these two people are sneaking around behind a spouse's back, if they're being deceptive, if they're violating the intimacy that spouse has the right to expect, then they are behaving in an adulterous way. I think planning or moving toward marriage while one partner remains "unannulled" is unwise.