For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.The key is that every person is different, and you should take the widow/widower’s word that she/he is ready to date.” There is no specific time range that works for everyone.Some people may be ready after 6 months, while others may feel ready after 5 years.
Annother:“It’s not the comparison one might assume it to be.What I mean is that if one had a happy marriage that ended with one person dying, one might wonder if the person would approve of the person one is dating. ” When you begin to date a widow(er), keep in mind that it is completely natural for people to compare things.Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.(Yah, I know about the assume thing.) Many of you spoke of excesses: droning on and on, posting on Facebook how much he misses her, baking her birthday cakes every year and hanging her pictures on the wall…absolutely these are all likely deal-breakers.I advised to have a conversation with him and if he persists…he’s not ready. In the end, my advice is that if a Good Man can give you 95% of himself, but still needs to save 5% for a dead woman with whom he shared decades and probably raised a family, you might be able to give him the gift of letting him remember her fondly…without guilt or shame.If he or she feels comfortable talking about their deceased partner then you should feel free to ask questions or make comments. You should not compare yourself to the departed spouse. One has to remember, that a widowed person did not end the relationship because he/she wanted to – it was taken from them, and in this way is very different from that of a divorce.” Starting a completely new path in one’s life is a big decision and would cause emotional upheaval for anyone, no matter the situation.Be aware that if that is all he or she can talk about then they’re probably not ready to date.”“It is not a competition between you and the departed spouse. Give them time to adjust and try not to take it personally.What are important things to keep in mind when dating a widow/widower?Annother: “If he or she is new to dating, there may be tears. However, the occasional emotional reminiscence is not an indication that the person is not ready to date.Having a good picker means not only that you learn how to spot and avoid the jerks, but even more importantly, that you don’t miss the really good guys. When a man is in a happy relationship he pours himself into it. We’ve experienced a lot: love, heartbreak, successes, failures – and having lost a spouse is a very real possibility. I have also spent the past 8 years closely observing many women as they dated Ws.And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above).