Since I last posted on the The LDS Dating Crises it has come to my attention that the temple sealing polices/doctrine/cultural baggage (you pick one) can contribute to the difficulty of women finding a husband.This is especially true for widowed women who were sealed to their dead husband.They could change the rules to true “polygamy” type rules, and not the “polygyny” rules that are enforced today (2).This would allow a woman, like a man, to be sealed to a dead spouse and also a living one.So these men get to be picky, and usually marry somebody much younger than they are.So what is the solution to this mess that the vestiges of polygamy have left on Temple sealing rules?This is a frequent topic on Facebook groups for LDS widows, and its ramification are discussed endlessly.It leads to a ranking of desirability of single LDS women, where a divorced woman is more desirable than a widowed woman, despite the stigma the divorce might bring with it.
As for those of us who aren't interested in marriage, no public pep talk is going to change that, and the reasons we have are pretty much never as shallow as you seem to think.(note: a divorced woman can get their temple sealing cancelled, thus freeing them up for a new sealing.A divorced man need not get his previous sealing canceled, but for parity’s sake he needs to get a sealing clearance, which is the exact same paperwork that the woman fills out.It was 1976 when President Kimball said, "..is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price." (Ensign, March 1977, First Presidency Message.) This got a lot of play wherein it was paraphrased as, "You can be happily married to anyone, so stop being so picky." If you read the article in its entirety, that's actually exactly the opposite of what he was saying.My generation has the internet, so we can read the full quote that talks about being willing to, "pay the price", and we are all too familiar with the price of a poorly chosen mate, which brings me to my next point.Like it or not, they are now “Damaged Goods” to the single never married or divorced man in the church.He wants a “Forever Family” like everybody else at church, and to marry an already sealed woman means he can never be sealed to her, and never have eternal offspring. They can be sealed to as many women as they want (although we stopped practicing polygamy in 1890…..).Our parents are divorced, our siblings are divorced, our friends are divorced, and some of us are divorced, so you can't tell us, "Marriage is the most beautiful, celestial, Godly blessing that can be known to man," without reviving in at least 50% of us sharp edged memories that fly in the face of that statement, even if it is true in some cases.Even if we desperately want it to be true for us."Are you dating anyone? That's really something you should be thinking about," is a direct quote from my singles ward bishop's counselor in a private interview in Provo. There are two possible reactions to this kind of intrusion in our lives.There seems to be a great sense of concern over my demographic in the church of 18-30 and unmarried, and rightly so.We are tragically turning away from God at an alarming rate.